Letter to the Man Who Married My Mom

Dear Bill:

I remember, vividly, the first time I saw my mom cry because of a man. I had walked into the kitchen, and she was standing by the sink. She didn’t make a sound, for I had entered the kitchen completely unaware of what I was stepping into. Little did I know, I was stepping into a – seemingly – lifelong position of protector and best friend.

Since that day, I have watched my mother grow into the very strong woman she is today. It has taken time, heartache, challenges and many lessons for her to be as fabulous as she is today, but I have watched every step of the way.

The amount of love my mother can give is literally limitless. The sacrifices she has given and the opportunities she has provided for Shane and me are unimaginable considering she did a lot of it on her own. Love her unconditionally, and she will love you back.

Like all women (and men for that matter!), she has her bad days. You’ll learn how to read her, when she wants alone time and when she needs to talk through every single, sometimes completely meaningless, detail. You’ll start to pick up on when she needs to get out of the house and when she wants to order Chinese in. Just be there for her, and remember that sometimes women just need to cry, and she won’t want to hear a “solution.”

She has been through a lot of heartache, and as a result has adopted a “worst-case scenario” mentality. Don’t let that scare you, just prove her wrong.

When she gets mad at you (and trust me… my brother and I have dealt with this on many occasions), sometimes it will be justified and sometimes it won’t be. She’s a Sagittarius. She’s like that. She’s blunt, to-the-point, and she can be impossible. Learn to love her stubbornness. Give her time. Let her cool down and re-connect with reality. She’s not going to shut you out or stop loving you. She has a process and a journey she has to travel with every new idea or challenge or change that presents itself.

Most importantly, she will be the best thing to happen to you. And never forget, YOU can be the best thing to happen to her too. Love her beyond all reason and logic, and commit to yourself (not only her) that you aren’t going anywhere no matter what. And you’ll see, through all of the ups and downs and crazy days – and there will be crazy days if it involves Mama, my brother and me – that she really is everything you need in life.

She’s that opinion you’ll always need (but may not always want). She’s the best cuddler in the world (until she gets too hot). If you make popcorn without her knowing, be prepared to share and go ahead and bring her water, because she’s going to ask. Spoil her, because she deserves it. In return, she’ll spoil you.

My mother is my best friend and she always will be. She really, truly, without a doubt, cares for you. Don’t doubt that. Take her love and trust in you, and cherish it forever! Because you’re both so deserving of the love I know you can show each other.

I never thought I would have to pass over my protector position. And it’s with hesitation that I do. But I believe you love my mom, and I believe you will be there for her, even when it’s just to watch “Sweet Home Alabama” and eat ice cream. But, just like when I was a little girl, I’ll always be there making sure she’s smiling. I’m thankful, however, that she has you to smile with.

With love,

Sheena

I am my mother’s daughter.

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