I am the workaholic, go-getter, stress ball who won’t accept anything less than perfection. I ask 4 million questions, debate 3.5 million of those, and I’m still willing to work more! He, on the other hand, is far more calm than me, an amazing cook (whereas I’m over here working 60-hour weeks forgetting to eat), a loyal friend and brother. I wish I had his ability to be kind, forgive, laugh and move on from any situation with the ease and swiftness that he does. He puts up with me when I can barely put up with myself.
(And he’s cute too!)
All of that being said, he and I recently celebrated one year of togetherness! We’ve had some great, priceless moments, and we’ve had some struggles. But we’ve spent the past year getting to know each other’s habits, red flags, moods, and way of handling life. Now, about the bug.
Recently, the boyfriend broke his ankle while being his normal fun-loving, die-hard VCU-fan self. We ended up leaving the hospital, still rocking our VCU gear, at 5:00 AM, with crutches and a doctor’s note giving our relationship an entirely new challenge: “No weight bearing for 6-9 weeks.” That’s 2+ months.
So I put on my good girlfriend outfit and went on Thai food runs, cleaned dishes, collected ice cubes, made cookies, stocked up on ice cream, rented a movie from RedBox for the first time by myself. I do this because I love him and he’s hurt and he’s “on crutches.” I hear the line, “But I’m on crutches” many times. And it’s true, so at the beginning I was more than happy to do whatever was needed.
Days…weeks go by… He’s working hard from home and I’m off doing my way-too-hectic life.
I will tell you, and he would tell you, that “having patience” is not on my resume. If I played in the NBA and had access to the magical healing medication they have, I would definitely give him that because I’m all about right-here-right-now-let’s go. So after weeks of hearing that he’s on crutches, only two facts remained: 1) I know this already 2) I’m over this already.
So then there’s this bug. I went to go take a shower, and there was a humongous bug sitting on the sink. There’s absolutely no way I can SHOWER with that BUG on the sink. As soon as I see the bug, I turn right around and say, “Umm… there’s a giant bug in the bathroom.” AND WHAT DO I HEAR?!
“What do you want me to do? I’m on crutches.” (Still, totally true).
This is where the crazy redhead temper came out. After a few minutes of, “I obviously know you’re on crutches! That doesn’t mean you can’t do ANYTHING. You obviously walk to the bathroom throughout the day! Blah blah blah.”
He reluctantly gets up and goes into the bathroom to save my life from this bug. I follow, still making it VERY clear that I understand the crutches situation but this is our anniversary and I NEED him to get the bug so that I can shower and I don’t understand why………..
The bug was gone.
We spend the entire next day in one of those “relationship conversations” where neither one of us is really MAD, per se, but we have to figure out how to get past the fact that YES you are on crutches and NOW there’s a giant bug in the house. This conversation is now known as “The Bug Fiasco.”
I think The Bug Fiasco sums up a lot about relationships. In a relationship, you’re dealing with two different people + their feelings + their background + their quirks + their expectations + their over and under reactions and on and on. One situation can pass by with a breeze, but everything will come out later, even if sparked by something as silly as a bug chilling on the sink.
That night, I was closing up the dance studio; exhausted from the day-long relationship talk, the dancing, the working, the everything. I hear my phone buzz in my purse. I sit down and pull it out:
“I hunted down and killed the bug.”
I couldn’t help but smile. He loves me, he really loves me. And I really love him in return.
I almost wanted to hug the bug for reminding me that through all of the stress that is our individual lives… he and I will always be right there together accomplishing big things and working together.
So here’s to next 365 days of learning and loving each other, and for all of the little fiascos we’ll run into along the way.
Thank you for putting up with all of my overreacting, drama, and for killing the bug. But mostly, thank you for being you and for loving me.